Finding Your Tribe

Having a new baby can bring a whole lot of ups and downs.  Whether it’s having your first child, second, third, or fourth (fifth?! sixth?)  the changes it brings to the family unit can be big….life changing big.  A new human being, a new child, a new sibling, a new love.  One thing I have found since becoming a mother with my first child is you need to find your tribe. Your support group(s), friends, meet-ups, playgroups and outings where you can be surrounded by others going through a similar experience.  Finding those special groups who totally get you and totally get, or at least show support towards, what you are striving for as a family.

I have found many tribes and even after 2 years of being a mom I am still finding new ones while continuing to grow familiar ones.  I have built tribes from online relationships discovered through twitter and Facebook. I have nourished tribes I had previously from the yoga community, nannying gigs and existing friendships. I have been a part of powerful tribes that have come together over breastfeeding, attachment parenting, fun playgroups and baby signing and much more.

With social media being mainstream in society I continue to enjoy my tribes who I have made initial contact with through Facebook groups and twitter conversations.  Creating conversations within a closed Facebook group with women who just “get you” and then taking those online relationships offline to coffee dates, park playdates and dinners is a wonderful experience.  I think of how blessed I have been in being a social media enthusiast, blogging and tweeting and the relationships with people who I probably would have never of met if it wasn’t for social media.  I have created relationships through these channels and with some of those people they are some of the people we enjoy spending a lot of time with.  Some of the people who know the most about me and my business I have met online and took those relationships offline and watched them grow.

When it all comes down to it and you haven’t even managed a shower in a day or two you know that your tribe will still be there for you, with open arms.  So I want to thank my tribes for always being there for me.  And to all the mama’s out there who are feeling alone. Reach out. Find a tribe, maybe you need to try out a few first, but once you find the one that is right for you you will be knowing it is the right fit!

And if you are on twitter then come on over and let’s connect! Tweet me at @amandadegrace

Who is your tribe and how did you connect with them? Through a local playgroup? Childhood friends? online?

What To Expect When You’re Expecting- Movie Review

I am in that stage in my life where I seem to be fully immersed in the world of baby, toddlers, snotty noses, poop, crushed cheerios in my car and you know what?? I am LOVING it! I should really saw “we” as my husband totally rocks the daddy card and could not imagine having our life without our sweet babes.

We attended the screening for “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” last Wednesday thanks to Alliance Films.  Many are familiar with the book of the same title that details your pregnancy journey from the moment of conception through to delivery and life in the immediate postpartum.

Those who know me know that this book is not in my top picks of books to read for the mom to be.  I always suggest reading some Ann Douglas, Penny Simkin, Ina May Gaskin and Jack Newman for parents to be looking for some educational and informative reading material.  I find the book too generic and quite often makes a new mom panic-stricken with the scenarios that play out and the repetitive answer of basically “call your doctor.” However, I had seen the movie previews and if a preview catches my attention enough to stop and watch it then I know it’s a must see. The fact that my husband actually expressed interest in coming with me (something we haven’t done in over 5 years together!) because he had seen the previews and said it would be funny, was a bonus for me!

The movie follows the experiences of 5 very different couples on their journey to parenthood.  These journeys are quite realistic and ones I have seen various friends experience over the years.  It continues to amaze me the different experiences women have trying to become pregnant and while they are pregnant.  My pregnancies are even more extreme then Wendy’s (one of the movie characters) but growing up and dreaming of having a baby I always pictured my experience would be more similar to Skyler’s (with my personality though…not hers….and a younger husband).

The dad group strollercise adds great hilarity and character to the movie as it greatly reminds me of my friend Jules (no not the Jules in the movie but just as awesome!) strollercise classes. A wonderful environment for parents to come together, get out with baby, get some physical fitness in and best of all a time to be surrounded by others who are also knee deep in poop, snot, baby smiles, giggles and endless laundry.

This movie kept me intrigued with fun comedy and laugh out loud moments.  A few tears were shed along the way- both of happy and sadness at a few points.   It caught a place in my heart, my mommy heart, and it reminded me how blessed I am to be on this amazing but sometimes rough rollercoaster ride called parenthood.

I really hope that this movie is part of Stars & Strollers or Movies for Mommies as I know the theaters will be packed with moms and their babes.  I know I will be seeing this movie again in the future!

Disclosure: I was not paid or compensated for this review other than the movie tickets to attend the Ottawa screening.

Disclosure 2: I love love love chick flicks and any movies with relationships, families, kids, etc.

A Whole Bunch of Awesome

This post from The Leaky Boob is a whole bunch of awesome. I have read it a few times over the last few months and I continue to love every word of it. How true it is!  If a newborn could speak this is what they would share with us!

Baby Explains- Normal Newborn Behavior

Breastfeeding Moments & Tandem Nursing

It is amazing how different breastfeeding experiences can be for each child you have and the journey that happens along the way.  I have been breastfeeding for exactly 2 years and 4 days now and I don’t see the end in sight for a few more years.  It is magic to see your child nourished by breastfeeding, soothed, comforted and content.   Dominic still breastfeeds a few times a day and of course it is Bella’s only food at this time.  But it is not just her food. It is her comfort when she is sad, it is her quiet snuggly time with mom, it’s her protection against all the germs her cute brother may bring her way and it is security while she begins to explore this great big world around her.  We have never breastfed on a schedule and have always allowed our children access to the breast to feed and comfort at any time needed while they are young.

Breastfeeding an infant and toddler can be quite different and I had forgotten the little experiences that come along when breastfeeding an infant.  Our little Bella is a breastfeeding champ and had a great latch within the first few moments of being born.  It is so warm and enjoyable when you lock eyes with your little one while they are feeding.  Knowing that at that moment in time you are their everything. Their food, warmth, comfort, security, and they feel the love radiating around them.

There are several moments that are unforgettable and I treasure each and every time they happen with my children while feeding. With Bella they are all new, moments we are discovering together and creating memories.  Watching her eyes start to droop and blink as she gets sleepy.  Fighting sleep because she wants to continue to suckle and enjoy the warm milk flowing into her mouth.  The eyes become heavier and heavier, open less and less, until they are fully shut and the suckling soon stops but her mouth is still on the breast taking in the warmth and smell of being close to mom.

Then there are the times when she is full and is breastfeeding strictly for comfort. When she wants to be able to soothe herself through a sucking motion or by being close to her mom but doesn’t want anymore milk at that time.  When she makes noises, hands in a fist, pulling at the breast because the flow is too much and not what she wants.  Other times she has the same actions but it is because she wants milk but flow is not as strong so she grabs at the breasts, pulls her head back and makes noises.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out whether it is because there is too much milk or not enough and she is waiting for another let down. Usually with a rhythmic pat to her back or bum you can see whether she is just really tired and not hungry because she starts to fall asleep.

It continues to amaze me how she can be crying and the moment I pick her up she knows it is her mama that has her.  She smells the breast milk as I move her even slightly towards my chest and her mouth opens ready to feed.

I love at night time when she is exhausted and we lay down to breastfeed.  She falls asleep, lets go of her latch and rests her check on my breast, warm little body snuggled up against mine and we drift off together. It’s her security blanket that will always be there for her as long as she needs it.

More than anything right now I love the moments where I can tandem breastfeed in a quiet space with both children. Looking at both of their big blue eyes looking into mine and knowing that the love we all have for each other continues to grow every moment of everyday.  Knowing that the breastfeeding journey we are on is what is best for my children and they will decide when it is time for the journey to change course or pace.

On The Day I Turned TWO….

I woke up and got to watch Choo Choo’s AND Cars!

I rode my kick a$$ new balance bike that my mommy and daddy bought me.

I went to see Daddy at lunch and we went out to a restaurant.

This is me telling my Mom to put the camera away!

After lunch my mom, Bella and I all had a nap together. This is after my nap.  I think I got the bed a little wet.

After dinner and bath I put my pi’s on and had some time alone with Mom at the store.  Since I’m TWO now I ride on the back of the cart. I have to be reminded to hold on because sometimes I jump off and my mom runs over me a little.

Ssshhhhh….I am on the PHONE!

Gatineau cloth diaper project

The City of Gatineau is taking lead from a few other cities within Quebec who offer subsidy programs for those who use cloth diapers.  January 2012 they developed a pilot program that hopefully would encourage more parents to use cloth diapers.  This was part of their “green fund” and was the responsibility of the environmental department within the City.  The program would refund 50% of costs for your cloth diapers or laundering up to $100.

Once you applied online you had a series of steps that you had to take. You had to commit to using cloth diapers for baby for the duration of time that they are in diapers.  To be eligible you must be a resident of Gatineau, have purchased cloth diapers or use a laundering service in 2012, applied online (you were then given a family registration # that you used for future reference & it ensured only 300 families applied) and submitted all the necessary documentation to the City for final approval. At this point they would then issue you your rebate.

I was surprised when I finally applied in April that there were still over 150 spots left for the program. I originally hadn’t applied because we already cloth diapered and had a fair bit of diapers in rotation that we were using for baby girl.  In April when I was told there were still spots left I applied and purchased more diapers that would better round out what we were currently using.  The process was simple. I bought diapers at our favourite cloth diaper spot, sent in my proof of residence, receipt of purchase (they require the original but they do send it back for diaper warranty use), birth certificate of baby girl, and within 2 months a cheque arrived at my door with my rebate!

It is my hope that they continue with this program, encouraging more families to either start cloth diapering or continuing to.  Wouldn’t it be great if the City of Ottawa and many other locations followed the City of Gatineau’s lead?!

Two Years Too Fast

What a whirlwind! A whirlwind that has been absolutely amazing and a journey I am so blessed to be a part of.  Two years ago today I was wondering if he was ever going to make his arrival and wondering what life was really going to be like once we became parents.  Little did I know I would only have to wait 48 more hours to finally meet him!

The last two years I have learned so much from Dominic. I have learned what its like to really play and enjoy the simple moments such as pausing to watch a plane fly by, crouching down to watch an ant carry food and watch the squirrels run up the trees.

The joy of his laughter can lighten my mood at any time, no matter what is happening around me.  His smile always makes me want to smile back and the joy of watching him learn more everyday continues to amaze me.

Who knew that two years could ever go by so fast. As I pause and try to enjoy each and every moment while they are arrive, being present, I can’t help but worry how fast the next 2 will go by as well.

2nd Birthday Fun!

All showered and has no idea that today is PARTY DAY!

 

Pretty in pink and ready to celebrate her brothers 2nd Birthday

 

Warming up for the day with some outdoor play

 

Kitchens is ready for pizza and cake! Complete with Thomas the Train.

 

Outside playing with airplanes. Daddy brings all the fun stuff 🙂

 

Of course we need an airport for the planes! Thanks to J for making this one!!

 

mmmm CAKE!

 

It’s past my nap time and today has already been a big day!

 

Cooling off after Party #1 and getting ready for family to come.

 

Mama hanging out with Bella

 

More Yummy Dessert

 

Sharing hugs with Poppy

 

Morning Triumph

Most people would probably classify their morning successful if they have coffee to make, the kids didn’t throw a fit over wanting to watch more tv before school, toddler slept in past 6a.m. and there is no rushing out the door to work, school or an activity.

I have always been blessed that my husband is an early riser. Therefore he gets up with Dom at 5:30, sometimes early like today (4:30!!!!!), gets him breakfast and also gets himself ready for work. This allows me and Bella a bit more time in bed to sleep before I start my day. There is ALWAYS coffee on hand at my house. My loving husband learned early on that one of the keys to a successful marriage for us is making sure there was coffee on hand for me in the morning. It really is better for everybody this way.

So what do I classify as a successful morning? Well lately, more specifically since Bella came and I started pumping to have frozen breast milk on hand, I classify this as a successful morning….

Yep that is 70ml of pumped liquid gold. I know for many that may seem like nothing but for me this is a huge triumph. You see me and pumping have never really loved each other. It’s more that we tolerate each other.  I think this distorted relationship began almost exactly two years ago when I had Dom. I lost my milk supply and had to pump to get it back.  Some boobies like these milk machines and others don’t. I know where mine fit in.

However I keep at it.  It is important that our children get access to breast milk as much as possible and ideally exclusively.  So I am building a supply of frozen breast milk in my freezer. So if you come over for a visit and think the long sticks of white popsicles in our freezer are treats to be eaten think again. There is only one person those treats are for and they are for my baby girl when mama needs a few hours out of the house.

This morning was my best pump yet…70ml from one side in less then 8 minutes. I have found that I get the best results when babe is feeding on one side and I am totally relaxed.

So every morning around 7a.m. you now know what I am most likely up to. I have even mastered the breastfeeding while pumping and enjoying a sip of my morning coffee.